you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
