Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
COCAINE IS GR8
Then you guys just all showered together...?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
