the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
