Whod you bang
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
