just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...