He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.