what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
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They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
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So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship