Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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