i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
