It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
