Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.

(773): View more from Illinois

...well that sucks.

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(469): View more from Texas

Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?

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(216): View more from Ohio

Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.

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(614): View more from Ohio

My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah

(772): View more from Florida

I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?

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(561): View more from Florida

I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao

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(415): View more from California

Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy

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