I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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