is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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