i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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