So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
