she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
