wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You took a bar mat shot.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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