i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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