I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
