It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
