the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
