I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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