i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
