im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
