How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
