Who did Billy Mays play for?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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