trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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