is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You are the jesus of drinking
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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