I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
True college students do jello shots in the library
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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