well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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