If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
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i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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