Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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