Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
