Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you would pick up someone in the library
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
