if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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