Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
