Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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