So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
