This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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