My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
