i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
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I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
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40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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