I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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