Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
