operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
