come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
