We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
