Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
