Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
