So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
