I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize