Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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