you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
