we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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