Dual....:-)
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
