I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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