i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
