If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
