just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
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he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
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Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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