woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
