I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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