Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Randomize
