By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
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This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
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the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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