Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
